Sunday 19 October 2014

55 Ways to Score Points With a Woman

I'm normally not the lovey dovey writer but I could be sometimes, lol. So, this write up is light n educating..... I bet we will have fun, Enjoy. 

Certainly the journey of creating a loving relationship can be rocky at times. We all have our love and hate moments for Bae. Problems are inevitable, but there are a couple of ways to score points with women. 

Remember small or big things each score points with the female folks, though the men forget about doing the small things for us and just focus on doing the big things thinking it will score them big points and wen she is not Happy or they start to have problems he wonders why. Oh well, your answer is here, you can thank me later. Lol 

This might not be the almighty solution but here are 55 ways to score points with a woman.... 
1. Ask her specific questions about her day that indicates an awareness of what she was planning to do. (It shows us u are attentive n sensitive) 
2. Upon returning home find her first before doing anything else and give her a hug (For those married or living with there partners.)
3. Practice listening and asking questions 
4. Resist the temptation to solve her problems-empathize instead. (Is not every time finding solution o. Hian)
5. Give her 20mins of unsolicited, quality attention(don't read the newspaper or be distracted by anything else during this time)
6. Bring her flowers as a surprise as well as on special occasions. (I know my 9ja men think we don't appreciate it but sm of us do, u can replace flowers wit a gift u know she likes tho)
7. Plan a date several days in advance, rather than waiting for Friday night and asking what she wants to do. 
8. Offer to make her dinner if she seems tired or really busy or just do it as a romantic gesture. 
9. Compliment her on how she looks. 
10. Validate her feelings when she is upset. 
11.offer to help her when she is tired
12. Schedule extra time when travelling so that she doesn't have to rush.
13. When you are going to be late, call her and let her know and when you want to cancel call and apologize.
14. When she asks for support, say yes or no without making her wrong for asking. 
15. Whenever her feelings have been hurt, give her some empathy and tell her " I'm sorry you feel hurt". Then be silent; let her feel ur understanding of her hurt. Don't offer solutions or explanations why her hurt is not your fault. 
16. Whenever you need to pull away, let her know you will be back or that you need some time to think about things. 
17. When you've cooled off and you come back, talk about what was bothering you in a respectful, non blaming way, so she doesn't imagine the worst.
18. When she talks to you, put down the magazine or reduce the volume of the TV and give her your full attention. 
19. Offer to help her do the dishes sometimes especially when she's tired.
20. Notice when she's tired or upset and ask her what she has to do. Then offer to help her by doing a few of her "to do" items.
21. When going out, ask if there's anything else  she wants you to pick up at the store, and remember to pick it up.
22. Give her four hugs a day...4 o
23. Be a good listener when she speaks 
24. Call her from work to ask how she is or to share something exciting or to tell her "I love you" 
25. When you are out and u hear her favourite song, call her and tell her that u just heard this song n it reminded u of her or place your phone where she can hear the song herself. 
26. Tell her "I love you" atleast a couple of times everyday.
27. Make the bed and clean up the bedroom.
28. If she does ur laundry you can turn the clothes inside out, so she doesn't have to wen it's time. 
29. Notice when the trash is full and offer to empty it.
30. When you travel, call to let her know that you arrived safely. 
31. Wash her car
32. Wash your car and clean up the interior before a date with her. 
33. Wash and shave your privates before having sex or put on a cologne if she likes that. 
34. Offer to give her a back or neck or foot massage( or all three)
35. Make a point of cuddling or being affectionate sometimes without being sexual, is not every time humping o. 
36. Take her side when she's upset with someone. 
37. Be patient when she's sharing. Don't look at your watch. 
38. Don't flick the remote to different channels after every five minutes when she is watching tv with you. 
39. Display affections in public... We love us some pda.
40. When holding hands don't let your hand go limp.
41. Learn her favourite drinks, so you can offer her a choice of the ones you know she already likes. 
42. Create occasions when you both can dress up 
43. Get tickets to go see a movie you know she likes or a show or something, 
44. Be understanding when she's late or decides to change her outfit: 
45. Pay more attention to her than to others in public. 
46. For those with kids... Make her more important than the children. Let the children see her getting your attention first and foremost.
47. Buy her litle presents-like a small box of chocolate or perfume.
48. Buy her an outfit( pls know her size don't buy a wrong fit)
49. Take pictures of her on special occasions 
50. Take short romantic getaways.
51. Let her see that you carry a picture of her in your wallet and update it from time to time. 
52. When staying in a hotel, have them prepare the room with something special, like a bottle of champagne or juice or flowers, candles etc.
53. Write a note or make a sign on special occasions such as anniversaries and birthdays.
54. Shower together sometimes, offer to shave her and wash her up. 
55. Treat her in ways you did at the beginning of the relationship. 

There are still 50 more points but this would do for now. Inspiration gotten from  Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. Great read between, With points from there and my own points I hope you find this helpful, ladies you can add your points and agree if I did right by you and Men you can learn from this 😁👍. 

Wednesday 8 October 2014

The shocking revelation and twist of events in Adamawa state.

The twist and turn in Nigeria's politics is just riveting. For months Adamawa state has been full of activities in the political arena, from the impeachment of it's governor to the swearing in of the speaker as acting governor, then the campaign and primaries for the October 11 bye-election. Which saw the Acting gov as the PDP's candidate and Mohammed Bindow as APC's candidate

The acting governor, Rtd. Ahmadu Fintiri won the PDP primaries and therefore is to represent PDP in the October 11th bye-election, all hands have been on deck with various road projects going on and other numerous abandoned projects from the previous administration. His team have been campaigning for months, security  has been beefed as police mopol's have been deployed to Adamawa state from all over the nation to ensure a free and free election come Saturday.

Everyone in the state was going about their bussiness, preparing for the elections after the struggle we went through for our voters card and the tight presence of security personnel causing traffic in the town. 

Just for the citizens to receive the shocking announcement today that the erstwhile deputy governor Bala Ngillarai who resigned during the impeachment saga is going to be sworn in as governor immediately, as ordered by the judge. With the claim that the letter of resignation he sent to the acting governor who was then the speaker of house of assembly is invalid.

I for one is confused as to why the letter was valid and even accepted months ago and suddenly just days away from election, this new evidence comes to play. Putting an end to any hope of election in the state, wasting the time of it's citizens and dashing their hope for those who Fintiri has captured their hearts with the tremendous work he has been doing. 

Is there foul play somewhere? Are they just playing politics with the citizens or this is truly the right course of events.. Only the politicians can answer. 

Tuesday 23 September 2014

In Solitude, We Write Our Lives...

Someone asked me recently about what it means to write or to be a writer. I am afraid I gave a very pompous and technical answer that did not answer the real question she was trying to grapple with. I should have said: "you are already writing and you are already a writer." Perhaps not with ink at the end but you are in a story and you are mostly making it up as you go along much like any book on any shelf of stories.

I should have said that the fascination for creativity can take away from many innate creative impulses and being focused too much on the way a book looks and feels and smells and sits on the shelf may rob you of the experience of reading the darn thing. The unexamined life, they say and perhaps rightly, is not worth living but neither is the over analyzed shadow of a life lived on hopes for the outside taste of things without the necessary joy in the inside flow of things. In short, it is far better to live than to wish you were living. Or put another way, it is a better preoccupation to apply yourself to the terrors and beauties of your own story than to wish you had a story. Of course you do. It is happening to you right now in many varied ways.

We live on a vain patch of the universe that is constantly elevating things out of proportion. We have eternity in our hearts so we constantly in the race to do immortal things. We are looking for relevance and power and security and purpose and that unique flavor of truth splattered on a thousand walls in a million cities:

“……waz here” or something to that effect. We all want to 'waz be here'.  So we make writers, singers, actors, scientists, politicians and activists as demi-gods to validate the human experience. We elevate some so we can deflate others and seek that elevation to keep us away from the latter group. So we can matter and be waz here. This might all seem sensible and pleasant as a humanist view of that greater life of meaning but as a general rule of living it, is silly. A general rule for all life must apply to all life. A society of classes of people cannot have a general rule outside survival of the fittest. Winners and losers are the very rule of the game. Man has yet to devise a system of life that creates value for one without robbing some value, or sense of value, from others. It will always be a zero sum game. Except to the winner and his caste. They will all rely on evolution. They will all say the poor are all lazy and the cheated are all dumb and the powerless are all naïve. The one that has his value taken is deserving of the loss. He was not a writer or singer or actor or genius or hard worker or leader. He was weak. He "waz not here."

This is not true. It may make us all sleep at night and not encounter the guilt of success but we have to give logic a holiday to truly believe that life is fair and people the world over get what they deserve.

I am a Christian because in Christ I find the ultimate counter-argument to the fallacy of success is good and by the way success is…

If God came to earth in the form of a tribesman to a group under the boot of an empire, uninspired, flailing, much invaded and much hated, what does that tell us about our worship of overt success? If he chose a carpenter and a maiden to raise him in relative poverty what does that portend for my ideas of generational wealth? If he did little until his thirtieth birthday and did everything for all time in three short years after what does that say of our worship of youth and our struggle for old age? If he died like a criminal, never had any money, did not command the respect of everyone who met him or left undisputed what does that say of our love of legacy and of comfort, of validation and vindication?

A correct appraisal of Christ leaves me with the scary notion that all the things I have been told about the general rule of living add up to a house built on sand. It cannot withstand the coming storm of eternity that makes everything new.

There is a life that is life. There is a book that is being written. We are all writers. It is not for the vain or the accomplished or the haughty. These things pass. It is for those we ache for something else. The life advertised in the most beautiful and horrific moments in life, it tells us of the beauty of orange tinted sunrises and the tragedy of murder: it says there is more and there must be more at the same time.

 By Forri Banu.  

 

 

Wednesday 10 September 2014

The Journey of the Nascent entrepreneur


The shop has been open for 254 days and during that period I have learnt so much about doing business in Nigeria, I’ve often wondered why the odds are so stacked against the little man or lady in my case. During these days I have drawn inspiration from everyone and everything I can find and this is including bible, bottles, sports, I have chanted and quoted every scriptural quote in search of a breakthrough in my endeavor to being the woman I dream of daily.

My shop is on a row of shops, located before the Police barracks, so I am a neighbor to the washman, a church, a fish seller’s shop and more. I have since formed a family with the aforementioned; we talk, laugh and share stories and experiences. I open my shop at 9 a.m. daily and close at 9 p.m., all the while waiting for customers to walk in and sample and perhaps buy my wares. I have a table, a chair and a computer, set up to give the impression of the office I want and so I act the part, all the while knowing my desires are a big purchase away. My office as it doubles, serves as a melting pot of activity for everyone, friends, customers and family. I have a cousin who serves as my assistant, seeing as I am the ‘chief shop sales girl’ and a retinue of fun. Typical days bring in customers, dry days bring in friends who won’t leave when it’s their time to leave but hey what can a girl do?

Few months after the shop was opened and there wasn’t an avalanche of customers, my cousin and I decided to do some mobile marketing with my cousin around various offices and I sold everything off my rack. So here with my car, cousin and prayer we’d go into the Yola sun and sell stuff, it was fun, we’d meet people, all kinds, answer all manner of questions, we were not going to get stopped by anything, failure wasn’t an option. We would come back and tell ourselves tomorrow would be better and it would be for as far as we believed it was.

The shop has an air-conditioner that should be powered by Nepa, more often than not, it never does get powered and I have to provide my own light spending money on fuel, servicing and dealing with the generator repair man, who is the only dark spot in my otherwise self-imposed optimism. He will take the generator and give more excuses than necessary, nevere fix it and all the while eating into my mearge profits. This is not to talk of the Police who double as our landlords and security, who come for ‘revenue’ at will and sometimes I wonder why. Least I forget the customers who will come and pick items saying am coming right away and you won't see them or your money till you chase after them or till they find you, weeks later. But all in all, am growing and learning the ropes and gradually making more sales with each new month.  If you ever nurtured a dream of owning your own bussiness, now is the time to stop dreaming and start doing. Goodluck 

Monday 25 August 2014

THE HUSTLE OF AN ENTREPRENEUR: PART 1

It is said that "every great work is a product of small beginning", which I believe, is the starting point of most entrepreneurs, though to each, it's own. 

The hustles and jostles it's pretty much the case of every entrepreneur and the challenges and hurdles they face and cross or still facing or either crossing daily to get to the apex is a concern. I'm certain, every entrepreneur has role models and mentors, but you know quite a few everyone can refer to such as Aliko Dangote, Mike Adenuga, Oprah Winfrey, Mo Abudu, Bill gates and Donald trump amongst others.                
                 
       I remember quite well when I started the whole "buying and selling" I was still a student in the University, my cousin introduced me to the FM(Federico Mahora Distrubution Network) business, she was hinted about the business in order to register and engage in but she was procrastinating and I on the other hand jumped at it without a second thought, went straight to the bank to make payment and then to the cafe to register and become a distributor. I Waited eagerly for my sample pack and catalogues and it was delivered to me in school after three days. I can still remember the excitement when I got the call from the courier guy and received the brochure preceding the product package. For a while, I kept on looking at the amazing range of FM products, browsed all the pages over and over and read the manual till I got an idea on how to go about it. 

      I started introducing the brand to school mates who were not familiar with it because it was a foreign brand and started convincing them to buy. Luckily for me, it was the month of valentine which created the right avenue to sell. I remembered having to deal with students who were eager to buy, as a result, ordered items to give their loved ones for valentine which was some few days away, even when I was yet to receive my products package. At a point I began to panic because my product was yet to arrive and the deal day based on order was near but I managed to call FM office only to find out that my products was sent to my home address in Yola instead of my school address in Abuja and the challenge of getting the package from Yola back to Abuja before valentine began. Fedex, the courier company I engaged was giving me the option of getting it after valentine because they don't work on weekends and every indication potrays that the impatient students will have me for lunch before then. Luckily for me on same valentine day, I got my brother who took control of the situation and extorted me for all it's worth to get the package to the airport and straight to Abuja through the immediate available flight. I got exit from school to the airport and got my package, it was indeed the most stressful day of my whole semester not to mention the cash I spent though I was a newbie, yet I didn't let it deter me. I got to school late in the evening and met some students already waiting for me in my room to get their stuff and hand it to their loved ones. I quickly handed over the items to the buyers, the worse of it was complaints from customers claiming their expectations wasn't met, some said the products appeared smaller than the were on paper while others said that some lipsticks and glosses weren't the exact colours that was on the catalogues. 

      I had to take the blame even when I hadn't seen the products myself prior to that day, I saw it on the catalogues same way they did and also got the shocker when it was right in front of us but as a business person, I had to absorb it all and apologize, concurrently, a friend intervened saying, "I , like them didn't have an idea that the products wouldn't be as big as they were in the catalogues and besides objects on paper are smaller than they appear" after the speech every one calmed down and left in good fate. I was happy and grateful to her and that motivated me. I continued my business in good fate for sometime even as a student but got lazy and sometimes unserious along the line, but I still had my stuff and could pick up and continue whenever I want. My school stage phased out and I proceeded to serve as a teacher in a secondary school so I had ample time to continue the business again. Along the line I got a job as a marketer to replace my teaching job but such didn't give me enough room to combine with the business so I kept it for evening after the close of work and weekends and at a point it became stressful to do both, eventually it got me into some kind of trouble so I stopped. While all these were going on, my best friend had opened her beauty studio and was taking her entrepreneurial journey to the next level so this got me thinking of running my own bussiness and becoming my own boss too. Thoughts of quitting my job came to play and unfortunately I got sacked before I got to the resigning stage. Frankly, I felt bad, just like a failure who couldn't handle her responsibilities well enough. I remember being indoors for days, I wasnt my normal chatty self, didn't even go to my friends room to hang out. I was lost in my thoughts, sleeping, reading and praying was all I did. Oops, oh and eating too. 

      Finally, it hit me that I had a shop I abandoned back home because of my youth service. Upon getting home December 22, while others were getting ready for Xmas, I got right to work collected the shop key, went and checked out the state of the shop and the next day I got to purchasing items to set it up with the little money I saved during service year. I basically couldn't afford too many hands, so I joined the hired hands all the way, until the shop was set to my standards but not really my ideal standard but that which the money available could afford. Afterwards, I invited my parents to see all I have done so far and I went ahead to ask for funds to start stocking the shop. Typical with most entrepreneurs, I didn't get the money I wanted but at least it got me started. Here I am with a big shop, two large shelves and one showcase, barely enough money to fill the showcase meaning anyone who was coming to Nena's world( that's the name of my shop) was practically coming to an empty shop despite that, I didn't relent. Now it was time for me to get back to Portharcourt to pack my belongings to relocate to Yola but I had to make a quick stop at Lagos to attend a convention and a friend suggested that while at it, I should consider buying other items to put in the shop. In my desperation and awareness of an empty shop. I asked my mum for a loan and an uncle gave me his window's mite which got me going but it could barely fill up one of the large shelves staring at me. With a glimmer of hope i got from the reverend at the convention I attended, I once again started soliciting for funds by calling everyone that had promised me money, but all I got was excuses. I started getting depressed but still manage to remain calm and trust in God for a way out, yet none was forthcoming so I left Lagos and came back home disappointed and bitter at the sight of my shop but my parents and siblings never stop ringing it in my ears, "start small , all great people started small ", " despite not your small beginnings " though some of the advice was born out of the fact that they weren't willing or didn't have money to give me to expand yet and I also didn't want to be ungrateful by pressurizing them, after all they tried. At a point I got thinking of a way out, so I resorted to picking old and forgotten products, empty containers and packs of products from the house to place in the shop in order to make it look less scanty. It was still far from looking full yet my sister kept adding to the pain by asking me almost every blessed day on how I will feel if a customer touched an empty item, as my sister she would feel embarrased, as a result, I should stop such. I will just laugh and say i will exclaim in surprise " what? When did this product leak" I'm really sorry for that." Until it happened one fateful day and I was embarrassed and ashamed but I managed to voiced out an excuse for that. I braced up for days after and kept at it even with the lack of customers among other challenges small business owners face daily, every money I got was channeled towards growing the shop, every thought was directed towards the business and then I understood what my boss was going through when I was unproductive or not bringing in the "big bucks" to the office and he was suffering from lack of money to pay salaries and run the office efficiently. I just couldn't afford to be lazy or relaxed because their wasn't any salary at the end of the month. What you sow is what you reap is the case when running your own business, so I kept trying harder and every item I sold I invested the proceeds back to the business. 
Am still not where I want to be but I'm not where I used to be, it gets harder at times and i feel like quitting, heck, I even second guess my decision sometimes but since quitters never win, am still pressing on. Still learning and growing, hope you are too? 

"Capital isn't so important in business, experience isn't so important, you can have both of these, what is more important is ideas, the ability to start something and the spirit to keep going when the tide is rough." and to always trust in God to see you through.

Wednesday 16 July 2014

So for people of Adamawa state, yesterday was a remarkable day, a day that the Governor Murtala Nyako popularly called Baba Mai Mangoro was impeached. Some people called him 'Pharoah' lol. There was massive celebration following the heavy security presence in the state earlier during the day. To make the celebration joyous, salaries of eager n waiting civil servants was been paid yestaday which totally improved the mood of the state in general. The speaker house of Assembly was sworn in yesterday, he's going to be the interim governor for a period of 3months. All I can say is I wish him luck, trying to right some wrongs. And for Adamawa state citizens, I hope things become better and turn out for the best for us all. Cheers

Monday 10 February 2014

So today I started a new phase of my life, asides from my love for media, writing, presenting. I've also got a flair for business. The female Dangote things *smiles* And today I kickstarted a project I have been working on since I was in school. It's called Nena's world, our services includes selling of perfumes, cosmetics n home care products. Feel free to drop your suggestions of good products you have used and enjoyed, so others can also get to have the same experience.. This venture doesn't mean, I'm going to ignore my blog or ignore you. We still have a long way to go. Have a great week.

Tuesday 28 January 2014

Enough is Enough Boko Haram has dealt terribly with the Nigerian nation over the years.. Recently a church was bombed in a local government area in Adamawa state, injuring and killing some of the church members. And also a village in Borno state, which has become more like a regular occurrence there. My concern lies in the fact that the north is made up of Muslims and Christians together, and so therefore ridding the north of Christians it's going to be impossible, if that's the plan. But the truth is Muslims have also lost their lives since this Boko Haram saga started. A lot of Nigerians and even the president claim it's a political move and he knows those behind it, which is the more reason why it bothers me. Why would politicians continue to play with the citizens of this nation, killing innocent people just to pass a message or to cause chaos and mayhem in the state that will benefit them and their pockets. And yet the masses keep hating on one another as if they are blind to the gimmick those top shots are playing on us. My question is when will this end? Is it when everyone is death or when they people responsible for sponsoring this madness achieve their aim? Or when the president and law agencies make more efforts in curbing the situation? Or when Nigerian masses speak a word of truth to themselves and say no to being used as an agent of destruction, just for the financial benefits they derive from it? Or when we stop playing religion and think of each other truly as our brothers/sisters that we need to protect and look out for?

Thursday 23 January 2014

Nigerian Anti-Gay law, which could imprison gays for 14 years is no longer news in this country. It has been a topic of discussion on both traditional and social media in the country. Bringing about a lot of protesters and activitists clamouring for gay people's right. Recently a group of Nigerian celebrities have been actively involved in the fight, though the claim they are not gays but are just fighting for the gay people who can't speak up for themselves. And today in bauchi a principal and some students were stoned to death because they are homesexuals. Is this law for the good of Nigerians or is going to bring about more violence in the country? Please readers, make e no be like say we sef no join mouth 4 dis issue, what is your take??
Happy new year fam, I will like to apologize for my long absence... Sorry o. I have been caught up between my service year and a job. But that's all in the past now, this 2014 is 4 me and you... Hope it's starting off on a good note for you... This year we will have loads of fun together and I promise to be consistent this time around